alright dudebro i went to high school with
i see you posting bible quotes as your facebook status
and i see your profile picture with all your fraternity bros
and i see your steady relationship with your cute blonde girlfriend
i see all these things
but nothing changes the fact that in the seventh grade i caught you jacking off next to me in history class on the day we watched that documentary on nude male sculptures in ancient greece
shout out to the parents who take their kids to cons and help them with cosplays and even if its not totally their cup of tea they still do it because they want to see their kids happy yall are great
i watch the butt, i protect the butt
without this butt my life is useless
i will serve and protect this butt with my life
I shall take no wife, hold no lands, father no children. I shall wear no crowns and win no glory. I shall live and die at my post. I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the butt.
oh my god
new pickup line: i hate a lot of people but i don’t hate you
that’s it that’s the show
Get it because it’s a CELL WALL
oh my god
can we just get this to 100k so i can post the picture i’ve been saving for a while
so i came out on facebook today
Amazing Face-Paintings Transform Models Into The 2D Works Of Famous Artists
by Valeriya Kutsan
puberty is so fucked up girls shed their inner organs and boys get to have orgasms in their sleep
please get a good night’s sleep before exams, but also before reviews, because when you take sleepy notes you get gems like "Ben Arn mad @ Cont. Cong bc he never got backpay.. totes legit."
One of the A+ notes I took in my world history class: “the Zhou said the Shang were crazy mofos who just partied 24/7 and were hella lame”
I second the notion to sleep
How to know which boy you like:
1. Get very drunk
2. You will cry about the boy you like
"We grew up in the same building, just a few blocks from here."
"When did you first meet each other?"
"I was three. He was five."
"What’s your first memory of him?"
"Him pulling up his eyelids to scare me in the hallway."
if you plug your headphones into a hole in tree you can hear tree thoughts. stuff like “birds live in my hair” “water is my favorite” “the sun is my boyfriend”
Halle-leuh! *snaps finger sassily*
All of this.
I don’t understand the stress on being “politically correct” when some people don’t like saying “Happy Holidays. I also don’t understand the anger some people feel when they’re told or the wrong holiday. I say “holidays” myself and I’m a Christian and I don’t expect people to say “Merry Christmas” to me. Hell, I’d find it really cool if someone said “Happy Hannukah” or “Joyous Kwanzaa” to me actually.